Nightmares
by danomesser
Summary: Regina is shaken up from nightmares of the past! Outlaw Queen.


Nightmares

It was the third night in a week that he had been woken up to her shivering or restlessly tossing and turning in her sleep. He was beginning to wonder, what happened when she closed those beautiful brown orbs at night. He knew vague moments of her past, but it wasn't much. He wanted to know more, her full experience. After a few minutes of watching her suffer in her sleep, he couldn't take it any longer. He grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her awake gently. All of a sudden, her eyes shot open and she was about to make a fireball, until she realised where she was.

"Robin, if I'm having a nightmare, never wake me. I could've killed you."

"But, you didn't," he replied. "I told you once, that I wasn't scared off you and that hasn't changed. I love you no matter what happened in your past, everyone has done something that they're not proud off. The main thing is that you've changed to be better… for your son." She sighed finally giving in, after many nights of debates about him learning about her past.

"Fine" she said defeated. "But you're only making me suffer more" she pouted.

"That wouldn't work, I want to know everything about you, now that we can finally be together and that includes your history, no matter how many mistake you made."

"You do realise that this could take the rest of the night and some of the morning." He looked into her eyes and shrugged, as if she was his only care in the world.

"As you already, know it all started with Daniel's death, his heart crushed before my very eyes, do you seriously want to know all this?" she asked, trying to avoid the heart ache of continuing.

"Yes, talking helps, Regina. Sooner or later you have to let people in…"

"I have let people in and certain people are aware of my past, but the only people that know everything are the Charmings. Well, not exactly everything." Regina interrupted.

Hearing this concerned Robin, what exactly she have kept from Snow, she had known Regina since she saved Snow from the spooked horse as a 10 year old child. "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I suppose you knowing can't hurt much, you've already seen me in a vulnerable state many times, what's one more?" she sighed, not believing she was about to reveal a secret her father took to his grave.

"After about a year of being married to the king, I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed my mother through a portal to Neverland, and I found out that it was impossible to be reunited with Daniel, so when Snow and the King left to travel to another kingdom, yet again, it was the perfect opportunity."

"Are you admitting what I think you are?"

"Suicide!" she blurted out, as she watched the shock in his eyes.

"I don't know how anyone could be so miserable," at hearing this he was utterly shocked, she had the most resilient heart and was the strongest person he knew.

"I was in a loveless marriage with the king, who was abusive towards me, and a stepmother of a child I fantasised about killing. The only person I had ever care about was killed by the hand of my own mother. Oh, I almost forgot, I was also being taught dark magic by the Dark One Tell me what did I have to live for?"

It only took a minute for him to work out that she wasn't being sarcastic. "Your Father!" she nodded.

"He grabbed me before I had the chance to jump off the balcony and told me to think about the happiness I could have, if I tried to make an effort and that our father/daughter bond was enough for now. I was only about 18 years old at the time, seven years older than his daughter. And all because I was the sucker that saved her from the horse. If only I had sent Daniel after her, I wouldn't have been force to marry him and Daniel might still be alive."

Robin was top stunned to speak. "I have all these questions about what would've happened if I had stopped to think and done things differently. But what's done is done, I watched him die, twice."

"Twice?" Robin questioned.

"Dr Whale brought him, back to life. And I believe his words were 'I brought him back but he's not Daniel, he's a monster.' So Charming and I, found him at the stables, obviously. Tried to kill Henry and David wanted to shoot him instantly, but he was my first love and I couldn't watch him bleed out in pain again. So once David took Henry away, I talked to him and Whale was half right. Daniel was there, but not fully. He tried to strangle me and I told him the three words I knew would affect him. He was back for a few minutes until he had that murderous look on his face again. So, to stop him from hurting me, my son or anyone else, I blocked him with magic and had to kill him again, this time by my hand, how ironic is that?" Once again Robin was gobsmacked, because of what he was hearing and this was only Daniel part in her life.

"I killed my father." She said it as a statement and Robin could tell how much it pained her to admit that she was the cause of her father's death. He wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"I told him, what I had to do to enact the curse. Rip out the heart of the thing I loved most and with Daniel gone, it was my father. Poor man, tried so hard to make me sense, but I wouldn't go back to the weak girl I was when I started, so I ripped out his heart and enacted the curse. His death was the only one, I actually felt guilty about, and the rest were just collateral damage. I watched the hope and life drain from my father's eyes."

"So, I'm guessing, this is just the beginning." Robin said.

"You know me so well. Next was the loss of my mother and if I tell you who she died by the hand of, you wouldn't believe me." She challenged.

"Try me." He answered.

"Snow White, Gold was dying because Hook finally found the dark one at his weakest and nearly killed him, there was one way to save him. The double sided candle, of course. It swapped death basically, so instead of Rumple dying my mother died. She would never keep her heart in her chest, so Snow in order to stop my mother and I from destroying all of them, lit the candle over my mother's heart and tricked me into putting it back in her chest myself. And within seconds she was on the floor at my feet. Her last words with her heart in her chest were 'You would have been enough'." By this time Regina felt tears threatening to fall, but they didn't.

"I tried to change, but that changed after my mother framed me for a murder that never happened, and showed me how the town really felt and who I really was. Then after my mother was dead I swore to avenge her death, by killing Snow, until she eventually came to me, begging me to end it because she couldn't live with the guilt. Old habits die hard. I ripped out her heart to squash it but it was partially black and I realised that she was suffering more alive than dead."

"Can I stop yet?" she pleaded.

"Have you finished?" he teased, while playing with her hair.

"No."

""Then continue, please."

"Last but certainly not least, the attempts on my life." Robin eyes widened at this, though he should have seen this coming. I would love to explain every detail, but I'll just list them as I'm tired. Let's see I was: attacked by a wraith (curtesy of the Dark One), electrocuted by Hook, Greg and Tamara, hours after that my life was nearly drained to save the town with the trigger they stole to destroy the town (I could delay it so everyone could leave and go back to the Enchanted Forest, but as heroes Henry wouldn't let them leave me behind and Snow still felt guilty, so me and Emma stopped it), Tinkerbell wanted to kill me and I personally wanted to make her choose between revenge and being the good fairy that she was (she didn't crush my heart),The Queen of Darkness nearly got all of four of us killed by a train and I basically died in the Heroes and Villains book."

"How on Earth did you survive a wraith attack, I suspect you were marked." She nodded confirming it.

"We sent it through a portal to protect myself from death and Emma wanted to save me, so she didn't break her promise to Henry. While the rest of the Un-Charmings and the rest of the town would've left me to have my soul sucked. Even the Charming Prince said and I quote 'No, not our problem Regina's'. I never learn from my mistakes, so I'll probably trick Rumplestiltskin again. For 28 years he believed that Belle was dead. Now that really was the evil side to me."

It took Robin a while to take in everything, but when he thought about everything, it all made sense. Why she didn't easily let people past her wall and why she was so hard to get to know, after everything she'd been through, it was understandable. He just smiled widely and kissed her with so much passion. This act shocked her.

When they broke apart for air, she stared at him. "What was that for?" she was confused as to why he would kiss her, after she had just explained her whole dark past.

"I just want you to understand, no matter how much of your past I learn about, I will always love you."

She gasped after Robin had just told her that he loved her. And without giving her time to react he captured her lips in another passionate heated kiss. And then she knew he was being nothing but truthful. They were both sitting on her bed, putting the same amount of passion into the kiss, until Robin started to trail off along her jawline and he made his way down her neck. He always knew how to make her shiver. She looked at her clock, it was only 1:00am and there was no way she would ever get back to sleep, after thinking about her entire history, from childhood to adulthood. As if reading her mind, Robin grabbed a hold of her and rolled her over so that she was on top of him and he sent a smile her way. He didn't need to hear her say the words (not if she wasn't read), but he knew that the feeling was mutual. It was written in her eyes and he always knew how she felt from her eyes. Even with her mask up, her eyes would always tell the truth, even if she didn't.


End file.
